Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
