The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
They are going to name an STD after you.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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