She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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