so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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