He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
im holly from the hills drunk
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
