So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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