Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
