would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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