What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
