she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
