that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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