Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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