member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
