Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
