a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
