I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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