I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Randomize
