It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
