How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
