i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
