Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
