All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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