JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
