you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
whose ass print is on the piano?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
