It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
