god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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