About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
