my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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