drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
