I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
