Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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