FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
