do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
