I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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