i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
