Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
