I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
