Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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