Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
