Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
