What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
