Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Randomize
