Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
