Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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