I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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