He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
