More tranny stories later!
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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