my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
