ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
