I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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